Comparision

Comparing yourself to other people is one of the most common things we do. It is ingrained in our natural behavior and we usually can’t help doing it. Human beings are social creatures and comparing yourself to other fellow humans helps to know where one stands in society’s hierarchy.

Remember when you were in school? Especially from elementary to up until high school, it was pretty much about popularity and appearance. Later on you might have been comparing your university to the other universities your fellow students attended, and after graduating it is all about how much money you make, what kind of material possessions you own, how good looking your partner is, how many friends you have and so on. The list is endless.

It is obvious that there is a set of rules that people have agreed to play on, even though they are not visible. As a marketing major from a university, I have realized quite well how companies try to initiate these rules and different kinds of needs by advertising and the media – for companies selling things that help people to feel that they are one step higher in the social hierarchy it is very profitable!

Have you ever felt the urge to buy new brand clothes to make yourself feel good? How about a new cool apartment or a new premium car? Have you ever felt even just a little bit jealous of someone who has those things? Haven’t you thought sometimes that you would be happier if you just got those things, and suddenly the other gender would be interested in you as well, thus solving your problems?

At least I have had these thoughts many times during my life, and I am still not completely unaffected about those ideas that advertisers and society tries to sell us, but now I am more aware of the fact that happiness does not follow material possessions.

The majority of people seems to be following these rules, and because humans are social creatures, it creates an enormous pressure for most people to play by these rules and rank themselves according to the system that almost everyone participates.

When you have realized that you don’t really have to play by these rules, one question still remains: How to stop comparing yourself to others when all the other people seem to think about the hierarchy all the time?

Gain freedom by letting go of seeking approval

The need for approval is deeply rooted in our personalities, and it seems like the more self-confident one is, the less approval one needs. Paradoxically, one of the best things we can do in order to raise our self-esteem is to let go of the approval-seeking habits.

One good practical solution is to make drastic changes in your life. If everyone else that have graduated from the same university as you have has a huge mortgage, expensive car, and a boring job, try what happens if you do everything completely differently. After you have traveled around the world twice with your backpack or climbed to the top of Mount Everest while your old classmates have watched the sunshine through the office windows, you will be extremely surprised about the outcome.

After you stop caring about other people’s approval, you will discover many things, such as the fact that many people actually don’t care too much about how you spend your life, and most interestingly, many people respect you now ten time as much as they did before, just because you were able to do something that most people would like to do, but can’t because of their fears and social conditioning. Probably a few of your fellow classmates will even follow your example and do some drastic changes in their lives, too.

Don’t be fooled by the looks

Most people don’t realize that they are usually comparing themselves with false data when it comes to the material possessions, and they let the false comparison dictate their future actions accordingly.

One of the easiest examples is the financial hierarchy that most people seem to follow. Most of us have accepted the idea that it is necessary to look financially successful in order to be able to be near the top of the social hierarchy, and often insecure people need approval so much that they are even willing to buy things that they can’t afford, thus getting into severe debt by buying a too expensive car or an apartment.

After this first guy puts himself into deep debt and starts to look well off, you can be assured that his neighbors and friends suddenly start to feel insecure and try to outdo him by trying to look more financially successful, and this is where the never ending loop begins.

The whole successful image of the first guy was based on a false front to begin with, but now there are many people trying desperately to look better, not realizing that if one keeps thinking about the hierarchy, there will always be someone that is above you, so it is impossible to win that game. My question then is: why bother even attending?

Find your passion, follow your dreams, and you will never compare yourself to others anymore

Every second you spend focusing on what other people are doing, you are missing an opportunity to pay attention to your own journey in life. When you realize that you have a unique life that can end tomorrow, you can finally start focusing only on what YOU want and what makes you happy. It takes a lot of courage to start living the life exactly how you feel like living deep down inside your heart, but after you have made the necessary steps, the pure joy inside you will make you suddenly forget all the comparisons that used to make you feel worse.

If you must compare yourself to something, compare yourself to yourself in terms of your own journey. Life is not a competition, but a journey – a journey to find happiness, to become good at something, to learn, or to create. All that matters is what you want to do with your life and where you want to go. A good way to start is to read the article about finding your life purpose in no time. When you focus only on following passionately your dreams without thinking about your rank in comparison to others, you will find true happiness that is long-lasting. Even if you die tomorrow, you will die smile on your face – that is what happens when you live every day according to your passions and following your dreams.

Courtesy: Happiness hunters